Detoxify Your Life!!

Reprinted from July 30, 2010 Front Porch

Gratitude, Forgiveness, Humor
Welcome to the Front Porch!!

Let's ALL chat...I'll prattle first to get the ball rolling!!

I've stolen 3 concepts that are ancient, and find that if I can intentionally practice them, I'm happier, have more clarity, and a lot less angst. Bet you've discovered these for yourselves.

GRATITUDE

I learned from Earl Nightingale, once upon a time, that the mind can only hold one thought at a time. We have a choice of controlling our thoughts, or letting them control us. We make this choice constantly, hopefully making taking control a learned habit over time.

So why gratitude? Gratitude for our station in life, including family, friends, relative freedom, relative good health (as opposed to health's ultimate alternative), is mentally, physically and spiritually nourishing. If our thoughts are centered on gratitude, we're not self-poisoning with such toxins as bitterness, anger, envy. We are far more likely to 'get back' from others what we want in one form or another---in a word, let's call it 'love', however we choose to define it. If instead we're broadcasting resentment, suspicion, angst ---and we do broadcast our thoughts---we will get it back in most cases. Ironically that tends to reinforce our own pessimism and foul taste for our precious life. Amazing loop: think in gratitude, we're far more likely to trust and smile, and we're far more likely to be trusted and smiled at back. 'Stinking thinking,' as Zig Zigler calls it, will get stinking attitudes and results as our reward.

Here's an exercise to get a jump start on gratitude, for anyone not up to speed: Once a day. sit with paper and pen, or in front of your computer, and write at the top "20 Things I am Grateful for Today." Now here's where technique comes in...some call it 'brainstorming.' If the idea comes to you, write it down. Do not constipate the flow of your ideas. 4 out of 5 may stink on ice. But you'll never get to the good ones if you don't process the not-so-good ones. So unplug your critical faculties.

Do this every day and you'll find: (1) your gratitude is getting more clearly defined and honed (which is more convincing to the person in question: you) (2) Gratitude-related ideas will started popping into your head the day long. You've started a a 'gratitude machine'. (3) You'll notice results in your own spirit, productivity, and in the faces of those around you. Not too bad a pay-off for 15 minutes a day!!


The second technique is:

FORGIVENESS

Boy did I miss the point on this one in Sunday School!! As far as I can recall, we were asked to forgive because 'God wanted us to.' If you're having trouble getting your mental arms around the concept of God, as I was, then the imprimatur holds no meaning. Left unexplained for it's earthly purposes, it becomes just another reason to think 'believing' is at best, beyond the ken, and, at worst, foolish.

Can't recall when I learned, but what an epiphany!! "Forgiveness" is not about going to heaven. It's not about the other guy we're forgiving. It's about the forgiver!! How many of us go through life with a heart filled with anger and hatred for someone, who may be totally unaware of our sanctimonious, miserable, disapproval? I learned from somewhere, that all that toxic trash belongs to me. I'm carting it through life with me, restricting my own life's enjoyment, own capacity to love and be loved, and general clear-headed efficiency in my self-assigned tasks. The anger hurts the angered, if we hold on to it. Hence the advice, "Let it go," or "Let it be." When we do, we open our hearts and minds to life's treasures that have been there all along, like Earl's 'Acres of Diamonds'. Again, releasing resentment and blame is healthy physically AND spiritually. Amazing...we're happier, more loving and better able to deal with current life challenges instead of dwelling on the uncontrollable when this self-imposed hostility has been exorcised.

To accomplish this walk out of the dark forest first requires our awareness that we have a chance to make life better for ourselves. Once we're aware, frankly I think we may need a "coach" to help us: pastor, wise friend, counselor. Typically it's quite a tangle when in the beginning we try to do it ourselves.

The third technique is:

HUMOR

"Reader's digest said it best: "Laughter is the best medicine." Like the preceding 2 techniques, it detoxifies, lifts the spirit and enhances our functions with people, career and projects. If we are prone to see the humor in situations and behaviour around us, we're going to be better and happier campers. As Earl said, since your mind can only hold one thought at a time, why not look for the humor wherever you go? We can't be grumpy and laughing simultaneously. After all what has 'grumpy' ever gotten us? It's like a useless, addictive drug that makes us feel good for the moment, and rots us from the inside.

By the way, is someone, or a group of someones, pissing you off? Stealing your porridge? Nothing is so effective as an aggravation retardant than greeting their intrusions with a sense of humor. They like nothing better than to arouse your angry response. It justifies their existence. Instead, smile. Why, I believe Jesus put it this way: "Turn the other cheek." And while you're at it, give 'em a wink!

If you feel finding the humor is difficult or unnatural for you try this: do the exercise recommended for GRATITUDE. Substitute
"20 Things that Would Make me Laugh" as the heading. Remember, the key is to write what comes to mind---to reiterate, don't constipate the process!!

I'm no pro at any of this, what do you do to get you where you want to be between your ears?