Nothing Annoys Progressives and Commies More than When You're Smilin' and LOL!!

Welcome to The Front Porch!! Today's RX: laughter!!

"Lying on his deathbed, the rich, miserly old man calls to his long suffering wife. 'I want to take all my money with me.' he tells her. 'So promise me you'll put it in the casket.'

"After the man dies, his widow attends the memorial service with her best friend. Just before the undertaker closes the coffin, she places a small metal box inside.

"Her friends looks at her in horror. 'Surely,' she says, 'you didn't put the money in there.'

"'I did promise him I would,' the widow answers. 'So I got it all together, deposited every penny in my account, and wrote him a check. If he can cash it, he can spend it.' "

---submitted to rd.com/joke by Ginger Simpson

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" 'Where is everybody?' the cowpoke asks.

"'They've all gone to see Brown Paper Pete hang, ' says a bystander.

" 'Why do they call him that?' the cowboy asks.

" 'Well he always wears a brown paper hat, a brown paper shirt, and brown paper trousers.'

" 'Really?' says the cowboy. 'And what are they hanging him for?'

" 'Rustling.' "

---submitted to rd.com/joke by Isadora Alman

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" Dr. Smith asks his patient,'Which do you want first, the good news or the bad news?'

" The patient replies, 'Give me the good news.'

" Dr. Smith says, 'You're about to have a disease named after you.' "

---submitted to rd.com/joke by Tyler King

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"A guy sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar. He walks up to her and says, 'Where have you been all my life?'

" 'Well,' she says, 'for the first half of it, I wasn't even born.' "

---submitted to rd.com/joke by Robert Gabbitas

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"How come married women are heavier than single women?

" A single woman goes home, sees what's in the fridge, and goes to bed. A married woman sees what's in the bed, and goes to the fridge."

---submitted to rd.com/joke by Jack Hulley

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"One day while I was home on leave, I took my son to school. When I met his 2nd grade teacher, she asked me what I did in the service. I told her I was in the infantry.

"Her response, 'I think it's just wonderful for any man in the military to work with infants.' "

---submitted to rd.com/joke by PFC Donald Geiser

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Hope you're smilin'! Now tell us one of your FAVES!!