Why "Why" Saves You Time and Energy!!

We all know the solutions to our problems, big and small, can come in very simple packages. Have you thought about what the simple, monosylabbic question, "Why?" does for your own peace of mind and effectiveness of breaking through 'closed minds' in communication?

Here's a fun experiment, if you have not enjoyed the benefits of this tool:
Someone says something patently wrong, illogical and seriously 'ignorant' from our perspective. If you're like me, your first instinct is to "show" them the error of their ways, by citing sources, history, rationality. Have you noticed that the likelihood of getting agreement is in inverse proportion to to the level of 'ignorance' of your fellow conversationalist? Then you're kicking yourself for having put time and energy into such an engagement that experience has taught you seldom pays!

Next time someone says something a bit, you know, 'off the mark;' instead of responding with facts, logic and rendering them into gelatinous humiliation or, more likely, a defense posture of a three year old, try this:

Ask "Why?" Look sincerely interested. You will be surprised at how often the utterer of foolishness will self-destruct, if they start 'splainin' themselves. You may find your job done with little effort whatsoever.

Now does this work every time? Of course not!! But it's a dang sight more effective, percentagewise, than trying to force the mule to drink the water!! And a lot less taxing and frustrating for you!!

A few more corollaries:

---Don't be reluctant, after the speaker has burbled some kind of explanation, to ask another "Why?" Give them enough rope, they'll often hang themselves. Keep askin' as long as they're in the game!

---Other non-intimidating sticky tar babies for the ignorant include the questions, "How?" as in, perhaps, "That's very interesting. HOW did you find out...?"

---Or "What?" as in "Wow. I'm curious. WHAT first brought you to this conclusion?"

---Remember, your question has to sound genuine. Hide the doubt, sarcasm, nausea. By sheer accident, sometimes you may even learn something!!

Finally, part of the 'magic' of these open-ended questions is you're giving the person what they are so hungry for: actual interest in them. Being the way they are, they are used to being, ignored, abused, and unrespected. Provide the respect they have been craving, and eventually they will walk through walls for you.

Warning: you may find them a bit clingy, so proceed with caution!!